My kitten the monster

I have just realized that every single one of my supernatural household disturbances can be attributed to my kitten.  Or maybe I’ve been watching too much television lately.  Anyways, I leave it to you, the reader, to judge the facts and decide for yourself.

Exhibit A – The Thing That Goes BUMP in the Night

Definitely KITTY – many a good night’s sleep has been destroyed by the sound of him colliding with the couch, knocking the salt shaker onto the kitchen floor, or his favourite midnight pastime of running around the apartment like a horse (thank goodness my neighbours are sound sleepers!)

Exhibit B – The Thing That Hides in Your Closet

KITTY is a big fan of the closet – I mean, what’s not to love.  A rack of clothes to hide behind, doors that slide back and forth when you hit them just right, junk at the bottom to burrow underneath.  Honestly, it must be like a treasure hunt in there.  Plus there’s the added bonus of being able to jump out at me when I’m trying to find socks.



You can't see me...



Exhibit C – The Monster Under the Bed

Do I even have to explain this one?  Cat owners everywhere will understand the shock of walking past the bed (or the couch) and having something small with sharp pointy parts suddenly jump out of the dark space and attack your feet.  KITTY and I have been together a while and I still don’t see it coming

Waiting to snatch at unsuspecting sleepers...

SNEAK ATTACK!

Exhibit D – Kitchen Mice

Ever wonder who takes that odd bite out of your pizza slice while your back is turned?  Well, I always blamed the Kitchen Mice – they’re sneaky little guys.  But I’ve caught KITTY in the act several times now – he once ran off with a whole loaf of ciabatta bread and now has a serious taste for pancakes. 

No breakfast is safe

Exhibit E – Scratching at the Window

We’re 5 stories up from the ground with a sheer wall under the bedroom window – you’d think that wouldn’t worry me anymore.  Haha, think again.  Maybe it comes from once living in an apartment complete with peeping hobos out the living room window.  Anyways, when KITTY gets really excited by the birdies or just a little too hyper, scratching the window is apparently very exhilarating.  In the end tho, I mostly just worry he’ll fall out.

Midnight escape attempt 32 1/2 - GO!

Exhibit F – The Alarm Clock

Oh come on – you all think it too.  Being awoken before the sun rises by a screeching that can only be silenced by violently hitting a button is obviously monstrous.  But who needs an alarm clock when you have a hungry kitten?  It’s actually amazing really, how well trained I am to awaken immediately to the sound of his pitiful little “feed me” cry.  Luckily, he’s well trained by the alarm clock not to go off before 6am.

Oh well, he’s my little monster and I’m lucky to have him.  I wouldn’t trade KITTY for the world =)  Even though I'm reasonably sure he'd eat me if given the opportunity...